terrorism

my friend Roland Barthes says that there is a terrorism of the question, because in every question is implicit the knowledge. the question denies the right of "not to know". all questions can be read as a position of questioning, of power, of inquisition. the question is perhaps the worst of the violence.

Barthes says that we must not forget Freud's statement according to which any question is a desire for sexual knowledge. in this regard every question is indiscreet, is the search for the sexuality of the other: what is your sexuality? a voyeurism exists in it, an obligation to the exhibition. *

*probably nobody understood this point better than Kurt Cobain, when he asks: "my girl, my girl dont lie to me. tell me where did you sleep last night?"

u.u

i'm probably becoming insane, but i swear that i saw that attitude somewhere else...*

*tragic tongue (?)

spiding

here when someone wants to say that would like to be present in the middle of a forbidden situation, it is said: "if i were a fly, i should be there"

and i was thinking: it is such a bad idea to be a fly in those situations, because nothing can be better for spying that to be an spider.

the spyer spider*

* even the letters of the words are given the clue (?)

selFishes

and the point is that i spend all the time leaving hidden messages, like secret signs

but it is probably my fault that they stay unread,

maybe because i use to write them with blue ink in the middle of the water

so they just vanish or get invisible at the moment*

*or maybe the fishes drink my blue ink

** oh so tragic, so tragic, so terrible tragic and watering (?)

unloveable

flaneur

SOUP AND THE CLOUDS *

MY well-beloved little madcap was dining with me,
and through the open window of the dining-room I was
contemplating the moving architecture which God formed
from the vapors, the marvellous constructions of the im-
palpable. And I was saying to myself, in my reflection:
"All these phantasmagoria are almost as beautiful as the
eyes of my beautiful well-beloved, the little prodigious
madcap with green eyes."
And all at once I received a violent punch in the
back, and I heard a hoarse and charming voice, a voice
hysterical and husky as with brandy, which said to
me: "Are you going to eat your soup, s . . ., b . . . of
a dealer in clouds?"

*did i tell you that i have a baudelaire's t-shirt? it is extremely cool, unique in its specie (?)

p.m (III)

-but if you hated me so much, you just would have to take a mistress... But no! That is not true. I didnt have a lover i simply slept with a guy. It is not the same; you know very well that you can sleep with who you ever want.

- you are enough for me, he replied bitterly

control

it is like noticing that there is a monkey in charge of the ship

and you are so far away from the shore

and the ship is absolutely out of control

and the monkey seems to be so confident about his abilities as a captain

that he spends all his time trying to eat a violet banana

-well, it is something like this, but maybe a little different- *

*i'm almost sure that i've seen this film before

p.m (II)

“I am a mess…” but he could do nothing, and that wasnt the essential: he knew it. the essential; what upset to him until producing anguish, was that, suddenly, he was separated from her, not by hatred -even though hatred existed in him; not by jealousy (or is that, indeed, that was jealousy?), but by a feeling without name, as destructive as the time or the death: he didnt guess.

p.m (I)

-¨the more injured people there are, the more the insurrection is closer, the more people fuck"
- i get it
-it is necessary that i say to you something that perhaps disturbs you a little...
he was laying on the elbow, he interrogated her with his eyes. May was intelligent and brave; but, often, she was awkward.
- i finally went to the bed with Langlen, this evening.
..........

- are you upset with me?
- already i have said to you that you are free ... i do not ask too much - he added with bitterness.
The little dog jumped on the bed. He withdrew his hand to caress the dog probably.
- you are free - he repeated- the rest of it doesnt matter.
- well, i had to say it to you. even for me.
- yes.

a.m

the wounds of the deepest love are enough to create the biggest hatred

gulliver

i said: "i'm becoming smaller day by day or by day by"
but the worst thing is that nobody seemed to believe me

and some day or day some, i'll probably dissappear but nobody or bodyno will notice it

poor so poor smaller me*

*it is very tragic, very very tragic and maybe a little weird or small weird (?)

ppp

the italian film director, pier paolo pasolini was killed at the beach, in 1975.
his own car -driven by a seventeen years old hustler- run over him many times.

the murderer said that he had killed the director because pasolini wanted to have sex with him, but he retracted 30 years later and said that, in fact he was innocent, and that 3 guys had committed the murder for the communist militancy of the film maker*

*and morrisey sings: "pasolini is me..."

dejavú

"the love crosses, i'll cross my fingers"

*and adorable bridge has been... (wake up!)

education

the best part about having Godzuki as a professor is that he not only can teach you how to destroy a city
he also can explain you how to build a bridge*

it would be nice to say: "teach me, monster"

*and adorable bridge has been built between us

pillowyou

send me the pillow...
the one that you dream on...
and i'll send you mine

the only problem is that i have three pillows*

one that i dream on

one to put against the wall

and the last one just to hug

*i only have three pillows but i have many pills
**pills for pillows
***pills for sleep on pillows for dream

gray

ok, i confess it

i have been lying during the last 50 years

i'm just 22*

*bad bad bad an tragic girl

forks

dreams

"During a time they resolved to sleep holding each other hand, with the hope that his dreams passed inside her across the hands. For uncomfortably that it was -because to keep a strategic position would become impossible to turn the pillow looking for the freshness- they resolved to sleep with the heads close one to the other. They thought that this contact would be more effective than that one of the hands, but she continued without dreaming"*

Silvina Ocampo

*two lovers with their heads pretty close on the same pillow, trying to share the same dream...

moz

"There is not human being on Earth able to declare who is with certainty.
Nobody knows what has come to do to this world, or which is the reason of his acts, his feelings, his ideas, not even which is his real name."*

Jorge Luis Borges

*and morrisey reminded me borges.

** i'm almost sure that moz read borges, as i know with certainty that Robert Smith did it

*** i should like to ask morrisey if he definitely did it. i think that i need his e-mail adress. (?)

warming

i need a hat for this winter

i have to avoid that the few ideas that i have, get frozen*

*btw: my feet are cool, warm i mean, you know

nailing

a boy who had been obssesed with her for more than a year came and told to her:

- i met a girl who loves me and who makes me really happy and i have to thank you for something

-what for?

- because you told me that things that were so hard to get didnt worth it. because you said to me that things in love had to be easier, that nothing or nobody deserved so much suffering and pain. you were right and i was so blind that i couldnt see it, but now i understand it and i'm in love again*

*she felt cool just for thinking that for once she had been a useful nail

warning

Until china collides with africa
i am going to chase you
it would be good that you were asking
that the land moves*

*i want it know

explanation

-some intellectual decide to accept a job in the television because it is very easy to have an affair with young girls. you know, the popularity is very attractive, but another guys prefer to be professors, because nothing can be easier than conquering a beautiful student

unexpected

*sometimes the problem about changing is when the change comes out of time

uh*

there must be a devil between us

*two, who are chained¨
**but in fact they are apart
***but there is something between them that makes them to be stick to the other
****something that it is stronger than a real and material chain
*****something that in fact is as vanished as a feeling

conclusion

catholic school's girls rule*

*the innocence pays

atheist

- i really like the way you write, but please dont put some words in capital letter. for instance god. the world is full of wars, hunger, misery so god doesnt even deserve a label letter to be named, ok?

she looked at him seriously, not even an expression was drawn in her face

then the young professor smiled and she saw all the mockery in his mouth