look at me that way

-... would you take off your clothes and let me see your body?
- you want just me to take off my clothes?
- yes. first you take all your clothes off. i want to look at your body. you don't want to?
- i dont mind. if you want me to, i said.

south of the border, west of the sun, haruki murakami

maybe it is not a good idea that an only child falls in love with another only child.

but things happen

between all the strange relationships that i establish with writers, there is one a little peculiar between cortázar and me.

every time that i have given one of his books to a boy, as a gift, the things didnt work out as i expected.

and i'm absolutely sure that i'm not the reason of that failure, because -as everybody knows- i'm nice and adorable and very smart and even funny.

maybe it is because they dont like cortázar or because they dont understand his writing.

i have started to think that they didnt even read the book that i gave to them.

definitely, it is all cortazar's fault. 

 

..

.

my only mistake is i keep hoping

Stone is not stone

There was a time when stone was stone 

And a face on the street was a finished face. 

Between the Thing, myself and God alone 

There was an instant symmetry. 

Since you have altered all my world this trinity is twisted: 

Stone is not stone 

And faces like the fractioned characters in dreams are incomplete 

Until in the child's inchoate face 

I recognize your exiled eyes. 

The soldier climbs the glaring stair leaving your shadow. 

Tonight, this torn room sleeps 

Beneath the starlight bent by you.

Carson Mccullers

what i really want is not to want so much

not to want impossible things, 

that probably are the only ones that deserve to be wanted

and one day i started to miss
we all knew that this was going to happen someday*




*i know it's gonna happen someday (by Morrissey)

need to see you at least one more time
come here in july
please

you have sth that belongs to me

just give me what is mine and nobody gets hurt

i am in love
and it is not friday

i dont like guys who smoke
and i'll go to hell because i'm a lier
\o/

i protect this place with the strength that i protect myself from the cold outside

hard to believe that they played this :0)

tonight, it will be absolutely impossible not to think about,
when they play a forest

love is natural and real

but not for you, my love

not tonight, my love

love is natural and real

but not for you and i, my love

why?

there are so many things that i want to say here, specially in spanish because they sound better...

but i have no people who may understand them and besides, it would  be too risky.

oh, by the way:  it is better not to write a word if you have drunk wine

:0)

i'll remember it, just in case

i don't need to know

know where you are

only that you are

safe in this world

let's celebrate your birthday. that's all i want to do

altough i'm clearly a dog

there is always a cat in between

and tell me, how much do you look alike david?

you, so paris

and me, so berlin

"the popular, and heavily romanticised, interpretation of this closeness is that "There is a light that never goes out" is a love song to johnny marr, who regularly ferried the singer around by car. 

asked in 2005 if this was the case, Morrissey stated: "It wasnt and it isnt".

"i never spent much time thinking about that stuff", adds Marr. "it was only after the band split that these theories came out. only Morrissey knows. when we recorded it i wasnt there thinking, "aw, this is about me", or anything. if it is, great. if it's not, then it's still a great song. i'm sure there's worse songs written about me so  it might as well be a good one. but, for the record, i wasnt the only person who used to drive Morrissey around by car, put it that way".

Mozipedia, the encyclopedia of Morrissey and The Smiths, Simon Goddard

to get something that you never got,

you have to do something that you never did

"but if nostalgia means the powerful recollection of strong emotions -and a regret that such feelings are no longer present in our lives- then i plead guilty. .. and if we're talking about strong feelings that will never come again, i suppose it's possible to be nostalgic about remembered pain as well as remembered pleasure. and that opens up the field, doesn't it?..."

the sense of an ending, Julian Barnes

flying people

giving my life to a rainbow like you

there was nothing in the world 

that i ever wanted more

than to feel you deep in y heart

there was nothing in the world

that i ever wanted more

than to never feel the breaking apart

if you could ask me anything tonight, what would it be?

http://www.vam.ac.uk/content/exhibitions/david-bowie-is




i wanna go

...

pushing my face in the memory of you again

but i never know if it's real

never know how i wanted to feel

never quite said what i wanted to say to you

never quite managed the words to explain to you

never quite knew how to make them believable

and now the time has gone

another time undone

...

just for the only fact of knowing that his last video is about berlin, shows to me that i was right when i chose that city.

ok, let's talk about perfection

if you want, for sure

thanks god or the destiny or whatever because some people dont use whasapp or line or viber or skype and because you dont have their telephone number, when you are a little dizzy for the toasts with  good wine, and so you cant call them just for saying that couple of things that you were hiding even from yourself

:0)


anyway ... happy new year
just happy because the secrets are safe  because bigmouth didnt strike this  time 

i used to write a lot here.

all of that is so far away

it seems absolutely impossible to write nowadays

probably i'll never do it again

as borges used to say: i feel prouder of my readings than of my writings 

"phillip tourian is seventeen years old, half turkish and half american. he has a choice of several names but prefers tourian. his father goes under the name of rogers. curly black hair falls over  his forehead , his skin is very pale, and he has green eyes."

"and the hippos were boiled in their tanks", jack kerouac and william  burroughs 

this is the end of the world as we know it

you choose...

i find that  i have to put myself in those situations to produce any reasonable good writing. i've still got that same thing about when i get to a country or a situation and i have to put myself on a dangerous level, whether emotionally or mentally or physically, and it resolves in things like that: living in Berlin leading what is quite a spartan life for a person of my means, and in forcing myself to live according to the restrictions of that city.

why dont you come over here, we´ve got a city to love

she only said the words again and it started to rain (rain rain rain)

Amy: "... Leonard, a word of advice, moody self-obsession is only attractive in men who can play guitar and are considerably taller than you."

.

being there

Preamble To The Instructions On How To Wind a Watch        


Think of this: when they present you with a watch, they are gifting 
you with a tiny flowering hell, a wreath of roses, a dungeon of air. 
They aren't simply wishing the watch on you, and many more, and we 
hope it will last you, it's a good grand, Swiss, seventeen rubies; they aren't just giving you this minute stonecutter which will bind you by the wrist 
and walk along with you. They are giving you - they don't know it, it's 
terrible that they don't know it - they are gifting you with a new fragile 
and precarious piece of yourself, something that's yours but not a part of 
your body, that you have to strap to your body like your belt, like a tiny, furious bit of something hanging onto your wrist. They gift you with the 
job of having to wind it every day, an obligation to wind it, so that it goes 
on being a watch, they gift you with the obsession of looking into jewelry-shop windows to check the exact time, check the radio announcer, check the telephone service. They give you the gift of fear, someone will 
steal it from you, it'll fall on the street and get broken. They give you the 
gift of your trademark and the assurance that it's a trademark better than others, they gift you with the impulse to compare your watch with other watches. They aren't giving you a watch, you are the gift, they are 
giving you yourself for the watch's birthday. 




julio cortázar
 

the hunger

bite me, david bowie

i guess you know i never wanted anyone else more than you

-never have been in love, to speak of. i was in love once, maybe and it was an awful experience. it rotted me, drained me, and it was a disease. being in love is something that breeds brute anger and jealousy, everything but love, it seems.

"when you write the biography of  a friend,

you must do it as if you were taking revenge for him"

flaubert, letter to ernest feydeau, 1872

In the beginning, when we were winning

I was your ever-present love-sick fool

sorry, mr. lennon, but happiness is not a warm gun

happiness is twitter (?)

when i grow up,

 i just wanna be tina turner

and one morning you wake up

and the lost boy that you had taken to your home

turned into something like this

welcome to reality

hey, are you lost?

do you want me to take you home?

-was berlin your first choice?

- sorry, i dont get your point

- nobody comes here for no reason. people come to this city for two options: looking for the cure or death

- i see. give me a pair of days here and i'll give you the answer

those days in berlin were the weirdest

being so lost in the middle of the world

berlin is probably  the best city to hide

mrs. jones

be my wife 

Bloody your hands on a cactus tree
Wipe'em on your dress 
and send it to me

i dont need to be the producer anymore. i just wanna be the channel for now and ever

i've come to wish you an unhappy birthday

the sex machine

i wanna be a toy at your birthday party

ok, ok, ok. this is the last video that i post from Bowie. but his guest... it was so hard to avoid. i just couldnt help it

David Bowie - Life on Mars